In Indian homes, no parent will ever apologise with an ‘I’m sorry’ after a fight. They will simply say, “Food is ready, come eat.” It’s not so much the verbal acknowledgement that we would often love to get from them, but the fact that a parent, no matter how angry they were, did not forget about feeding you tells you everything you need to know about the depths of their love. And it’s not just a parent. You know that co-worker who knows your favourite coffee order and will get it for you when you’re going through a particularly stressful day, the friend who will roll up with a pizza to your house or the one who knows that you will enjoy your iced latte and flaky croissant the morning after a girls night in.
Food is a language that is spoken universally everywhere. Whether you donate food, make it yourself, make it for a loved one or order it in, it’s the most non-verbal to say that you thought of someone in the most basic way—of feeding them. And why not, we learn to feed each other way before we learn to say I love you. It’s one of the basic human needs and someone taking care of that is truly endearing.
Gary Chapman gave us the five love languages to express love —words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. They are known as the top way to understand how to give and receive love. They helped many of us articulate needs we struggled to voice. And yet, something essential seems to slip through the cracks. Where does food fit into this equation? Is cooking an act of service? Is sharing a meal quality time? Is sending someone their favourite dessert a gift? Food, it turns out, is all of these things and something more.
Feeding someone has always been one of the earliest expressions of care. From the way infants are soothed with nourishment to how we instinctively cook for the sick, the grieving, or the exhausted, food is tied to survival, safety, and comfort. To feed someone is to say, you matter enough for me to sustain you. It’s a gesture rooted not in performance, but in protection. And that’s what makes it feel so deeply emotional even when no words are exchanged.
Across cultures and especially our own, food has long been a language of love. Be it your mom whipping up a delicious aloo parathas for you in the early hours of morning, your school best friend sharing their chutney cheese sandwiches with you because they know you love it or your partner cooking you a comfort khichdi because they know it’ll instantly uplift your mood. Food has also been the thread that brings family together – for festivals, weddings or just a Sunday get together. From people romanticising “shaadi ka khaana” to sharing til ke laddoo, payasam, Diwali faral with the neighbours; Pop culture has echoed this too. Friends’ brunches, solo weekends with coffee and avocado toast, or “girl dinners” are all celebrations of shared nourishment. Food is the invisible string that ties us all together.
And it’s not just feeding or eating together, it’s also cooking together. There’s a reason why cooking and baking dates are considered intimate and a way to bond – if you can tolerate each other in the kitchen as you fight over the correct teaspoon of salt, sugar, spice or soy sauce, chances are, you can tolerate life together
In a time when burnout is constant and emotional bandwidth is stretched thin, food remains one of the most grounding ways to care for another person. It doesn’t demand articulation or emotional eloquence. It simply exists, warm and tangible. It shows us that maybe love doesn’t need to be proven with grand gestures or perfectly planned evenings, maybe all it needs is cooking a meal, sharing a table, or feeding someone you love, your partner, your friend, your family, or even yourself.
